Monthly Archives: March 2010

Explaining March Madness

March 19, 2010   Chuck Allen   1 Comment

This is the time of year when thousands of wives across America are being ignored. The phenomenon is referred to as March Madness and wives either love it or hate it. For those of you who do not get into the madness I thought I would offer a little help in understanding it. Today’s post offers the top three reasons why men love the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament.

Games are easier to predict than our wive’s. Sure, there are a lot of surprises in the tournament. But it is still easier to explain how a school nobody has ever heard of just beat the number one team in the nation than it is to explain most of the things our wives do.

We get points for being right. I don’t think I need to elaborate on this. There are not many situations where men get points for being right – even if it was just a guess.

Statistics and guts. It is a known fact that men love statistics. Well, we don’t really love them but we spout them off as if we do. Creating a bracket showing who we think will win gives us another excuse to rattle off shooting percentages, turnover ratios, etc. Well, at least 87.4% of us will use statistics to justify our choices. The other 12.6% will just “go with their gut.” And, trust me, this is the only time that you want them to do that.

But seriously: Men, the tournament should serve as a good reminder of how passionate we should be about our wives. If we can cheer with passion for a school we’ve never heard of then surely we can make time to treat our wives special. And wives, just enjoy this time with us. Let us gloat about the picks we got right without asking about the ones we missed. :)

What about you? Do you and your spouse watch the tournament together? What about those of you in other countries? Do you have similar events that tend to separate the men and women? Tell us in the comments!

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We have a new home!

March 17, 2010   Chuck Allen   No comments
moving_box

The Marriage is Fun blog has moved. The good news is that your at our new home now, so no need to take any action. (Well, you could take your shoes off, but that’s optional.)

One of my goals in starting this blog was to learn some new things about blogging software. The site was initially hosted at blogger and now runs on WordPress. So that is basically the reason for the move.  I won’t bore you with the details, but I wanted to thank you for visiting. I’m glad you found us!

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Monday Meet and Greet: Best Surprise?

March 15, 2010   Chuck Allen   No comments

This week’s Meet and Greet question is designed to give us all ideas on things we can do for our spouses. Feel free to provide as much or as little detail as you wish. You can be anonymous or you can tell us who you are. (Introduce us to your blog if you want.)

Here is this week’s question:

Has your spouse ever surprised you wonderfully? What did they do?

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Conversation Tips for Husbands

March 12, 2010   Chuck Allen   No comments

Conversation is an art. It is more than just the verbal back and forth between two or more participants. It is a sport. No, not like horse shoes, more like tennis or field hockey. It requires skill and practice and uniforms. Ok, maybe not uniforms, but a good hat never hurt.
Unfortunately, many men approach conversation more like a kidney transplant than a sport. We just sit back and wait for it to be over. That is unfortunate. You don’t get to drink Gatorade with a kidney transplant. It’s for sports! Get in the game! (I apologize for that tirade. ESPN was playing in the background.)
There are hundreds of books that will coach you on how to be better at conversations. They offer great advice such as asking open ended questions or practicing active listening. But let’s be honest. When you have a spare hour to do some reading, which are you going to choose- Be a Better Conversationalist or Sports Illustrated? We all know the nod goes to whichever has the most pictures and/or whichever is sitting on the back of the toilet at the time.
So today’s post aims to provide the most important points for talking with our wives. To begin we have to understand a fundamental difference between the way we tell stories. Men tell stories to get to a point, a finale if you will. We don’t interrupt each other unless it is to interject snarky commentary or jokes. Women tell stories for art and community. Their stories are designed to be interactive with questions and verbal affirmations. Interrupting a story with a seemingly arbitrary question is encouraged and expected.
So in the next few points I will share questions that you can interject that will allow you to participate as your wife tells you about her day or her trip to the mall or her pedicure or…
Conversation Questions:
What was he/she wearing? – Apparently it is important to know what various characters in the story are wearing. The fact that the cashier was wearing a pink shirt with a gaudy red hat may seem off the point, but don’t let that distract you. This is art!
Who are they friends with? – The story is not truly meaningful unless you know how the characters in the story are connected both to you and to others you may or may not know. “…so Jane’s friend Lucy – she is the one who dated Fred for a while – you know, Fred that works with Sherry – she was going to come to the lunch but…” For many men this can be distracting and hard to follow. It helps if you treat it like the game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.
Who do they remind you of? – In addition to knowing what people are wearing and who they are connected to, it is also important to highlight any glaring lookalikes. It is not a problem if you have never even seen the person they look like it still must be called out. So if your wife is talking about her lunch date with her friends be prepared to find out that their waiter looked just like that guy from Days of Our Lives. And if she doesn’t tell you, ask.

But seriously: The real question is this: do you really listen when your spouse is talking? This is critical for both men and women. Truly listening to someone shows respect for that person. Are you listening?

What do you think? Add your comments below. (But please refrain from singing “R E S P E C T, find out what it means to me…”
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Monday Meet and Greet: Where did you meet?

March 08, 2010   Chuck Allen   No comments

This week’s Meet and Greet question is quite simple. Feel free to answer it with one word or tell us your whole story! So don’t be shy. Tell us a little bit about you!

Here is this week’s question:

Where did you meet your spouse?

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Household Project Timeline Calculator

March 04, 2010   Chuck Allen   1 Comment

Do you have a project at your house that needs work? A broken toilet? An unfinished room? These projects can provide opportunities for couples to work together and enjoy time with each other. More often, though, these projects can drive married couples crazy and put stress on an otherwise happy marriage. Many times the stress comes from our unrealistic expectations.

Today’s post hopes to help us set realistic expectations. Wives are sometimes puzzled trying to determine when their husband will start a project. Some times it seems they resolve the issue quicky and some projects tend to linger unresolved. So what’s the difference? I have produced the following chart to help you determine how long a particular project will take. Take a look at it and then we’ll walk through a few examples.
Please note: If the project falls within a particular “season” (e.g. football season, hunting season, etc.) you may need to add a few weeks to match your husbands interests.
So let’s look at a few examples:
  • If you feel that the kitchen needs to be remodled but your husband doesn’t see the need then it may be time to call a contractor (and a marriage counselor.)
  • If a toilet is messed up and your husband is not good at plumbing you had better hope that he has a friend that is good at plumbing or you’ll be using one of the other toilets for a while.
  • If your car is overheating and your husband is good at fixing cars you don’t have to worry about a thing.
But seriously: I realize that this model doesn’t fit every situation. I also realize that the husband doesn’t have to be the deciding factor in repairs. But it is amazing how household projects can put a strain on a relationship, regardless of who takes the lead. The important thing is that we use the projects to work together instead of stressing our relationship. No broken toilet or ice maker is more important than your marriage.

What do you think? Do you have a project horror story to share with us?
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Monday Meet and Greet: Seven Dwarfs?

March 01, 2010   Chuck Allen   No comments

Last week I started a new item on this blog called the Monday Meet and Greet. The goal is to learn a little bit about each other.

All you have to do is answer one simple question. You can answer it anonymously or you can introduce yourself to us. You can even plug your blog if you want.

Here is this week’s question:

If your spouse were one of the seven dwarfs, which one would he/she be?
(Dopey, Grumpy, Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sneezy, Sleepy)

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