Marriage Monsters: Marriage is a Horror Flick
Why are all shows about marriage comedies? Whether it’s movies or television, if the main story is about marriage, comedy will abound. Sure, there are married couples in horror or action movies, but their relationship usually has little to do with the story. It seems marriage has been relegated to situational comedies and romantic comedies.
No wonder so many young people rush into marriage expecting everything to be happy and fun. Even the bad marriages in sitcoms are entertaining. The shock is understandable, then, when they wake up one day and wonder how they began living with a monster. Monsters aren’t as much fun.
So I propose a different view of marriage. Marriage is a horror flick. There are monsters and villains to be battled.
If they are ignored they will wreak havoc and mayhem. They will build robotic creatures and pillage metropolitan areas. They will wear horribly unfashionable striped sweaters while terrorizing your dreams. They will lurk in the closet while suspenseful music plays in the background, waiting to pounce when you least expect it. They will randomly hide your stuff so that you can’t find anything. Oh, wait, the hiding stuff is not done by a monster. That’s usually done by the wife. I guess I got carried away.
The main point, though, is that we need the right expectations. More time will be spent dealing with monsters than sitting around the kitchen table cracking one liners at each other. Books and movies are not as good when we confuse the genre. If you don’t believe me, convince your wife to watch Monty Python with the expectation that it is the newest soap opera. Or trick your husband into watching Steel Magnolias under the pretense that it is an action thriller in a southern setting. In either case the person with the wrong expectation is going to be disappointed or, at the very least, confused for a while. Those two words – disappointed and confused – could be used to describe a lot of married people starting in about year two or three.
The question facing you is the same question facing every main character in a horror flick: are you ready to act? All the minor characters have been eaten, killed or maimed. The main character may have even experienced some loss or injury from the villain or monster, but what makes them different is that they take action. They fight back.
What do you think? In our next post we’ll talk about monster hunting. Is horror a better genre for marriage? Do you have any horror stories?
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snort snicker Marriage as a horror story. You nailed it! I’m going to be chuckling over this at random intervals for a while…
But every monster has to have a weakness, right? Vampires have garlic, crosses, and wooden stakes. Werewolves have silver & wolvesbane. The Blob could be frozen. What are the marriage monster weaknesses?
FARfetched´s last [type] ..#FridayFlash: On the Georgia Road 4
Great post. I’d like to answer Sir Far’s question and venture that the Marriage Monster’s weaknesses are honesty, respect, and open communication. That’s the best way to battle the monsters that creep into any long term relationship.
Danielle La Paglia´s last [type] ..Release
I’m more likely to watch a comedy about marriage than a drama. I get enough crying, screaming, bickering and otherwise unhappy couples in my life as it is, and very few people in televison seem to know how to make those things entertaining. Parenthood is a pretty good marriage drama, though.
Marriage Horror, though? Maybe Blue Beard?
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